a subtle change in wording.

“Will I regret not doing this?”

It’s not the worst question in the world, and is better than nothing, but the problem is that I can usually say no to something, a spontaneous trip, a jump in a frigid mountain lake, and be fine with it. ‘Missing out’ doesn’t bother me most of the time. But deep down, I know I want to be doing more of those things that require a little effort or discomfort. Not regretting staying doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be glad I went out.

So I changed the question. Very slightly, but for me it makes a big difference. Instead of asking: “will I regret not doing this?” I ask, “if I did this, would I regret it?”.

The first question is set in a premise of inaction. The second assumes action. A subtle, but important, difference.

Related to the above, I’ve now made it a policy that I will always jump in any mountain lake. I have never once regretted doing so, and yet, before making this decision, it was still so easy to choose to stay dry on the shore instead of cold and invigorated in the lake.