Create that which moves you
When I started taking photographs 6 years ago, I did it because it excited something in me. The freedom to create something that I saw in my head or felt in my heart was liberating, exciting, fun; and I took every opportunity that came my way. Didn’t matter too much what it was — I gave it a go. I think that was the right move early on, but as I grew in my craft and my aesthetic sensibility changed, I kept discovering things I no longer enjoyed shooting. I suppose I was learning what did and didn’t suit me, which seems reasonable. But then I began to find that certain shoots, even within my chosen niches, also left me feeling empty and blasé. I didn’t fully understand why. I would be shooting a subject matter I should have really enjoyed, and I wouldn’t be stoked on it. I might even dread it. Then I’d go home and edit the images and find them flat and boring. It was very frustrating. As my career went on, I noticed myself having this feeling more and more. The magic of the early days was gone.
Then Covid hit and we had a baby, and life changed quite drastically for a while. Then I left social media for 3 months and my brain began to breathe and have original thoughts again. I started to find some peace. And in that peace, I think I’ve begun to understand myself more deeply.
I’ve long found the oft repeated phrase “do what you love” to be simplistic and unhelpful, at least for me personally. What I’ve found to be far more helpful, is, “create that which moves you”. I think the subtle difference is profound. At least for me, I love so many things, it’s hard to narrow it down to the right one. Far fewer things in this world move my spirit. If I am to create, I need to create in the key that touches my soul, because that’s what will have life in it, that is what I can contribute to the world that no one else can.
Looking back, I think I left that path for a lot of seemingly good reasons and some bad ones too. The biggest of which, was, I needed to eat and I wanted to be a success. Understandable. But not sustainable. To last in the creative world I think you have to create what matters to you. Focus on anything else too much, and in the end you’ll burn out, or worse, become a “success” creating work that means nothing to you, and therefore will impact no one deeply.
a subtle change in wording.
“Will I regret not doing this?”
It’s not the worst question in the world, and is better than nothing, but the problem is that I can usually say no to something, a spontaneous trip, a jump in a frigid mountain lake, and be fine with it. ‘Missing out’ doesn’t bother me most of the time. But deep down, I know I want to be doing more of those things that require a little effort or discomfort. Not regretting staying doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be glad I went out.
So I changed the question. Very slightly, but for me it makes a big difference. Instead of asking: “will I regret not doing this?” I ask, “if I did this, would I regret it?”.
The first question is set in a premise of inaction. The second assumes action. A subtle, but important, difference.
Related to the above, I’ve now made it a policy that I will always jump in any mountain lake. I have never once regretted doing so, and yet, before making this decision, it was still so easy to choose to stay dry on the shore instead of cold and invigorated in the lake.
